I believe in you. Of all of the things I want you to know, it is how magnificent you are. How you are enough exactly as you are. And you are worthy of love. OH HOW YOU ARE LOVED! That you belong here. Whoever, however and wherever you are in your journey. Exactly as you are. And exactly as you will become.
And it has taken me awhile to get to the place that I can tell you, with absolute certainty, that this is true. Because my story has had a lot of difficulty. Trauma. Abuse. Neglect. Suffering. Poverty. Abandonment. Disappointments. Isolation. Insecurity. Shame. We probably share some of these, though I hope you have not experienced them all.
Throughout these difficulties, I hid my true self, and my pain from everyone around me. I isolated myself from friendships that I desperately needed to have, but could not figure out how to participate in fully with my baggage.
So I kept doing the things I knew would make me fit in. The things that were expected of me. I worked really hard to collect accolades, got the marriage and the kids. I even ended up working at one of the largest tech companies in the world – Microsoft. On the outside my life was “perfect.”
Until one day I realized I was no longer living my life. I was simply going through the motions of my day while hoping that someday it would be better.
Living in fear and shame was no life.
And then the iphone 5 came along.
As a long-term Microsoft employee, I was expected to only use Microsoft products. Employees were shamed for using iphones. It would have been easier to declare that the world was flat than to have an iphone in my circle. But the Windows phone did not fit my hand, and it was hard for me to use. The iphone 5 was a perfect fit! So sleek with so many apps available! And I longed for it. So, against what everyone else had told me, I bought it. And I loved it!
I started questioning all of the decisions that I had let everyone else make for me. The rules I had been living by that I had just accepted. The ones that started sounding like my own voice when I played them back. What else could I find that was right for me? What did I want? What was I no longer willing to accept?
This journey led to finding myself. To escaping abusive relationships and coming back to who I always was but had forgotten. To realizing what my heart needed and was always looking to give. There have been so many lessons. So much learning. Tears. Fears. Joy. Love. What I have learned through all the difficulties is that no matter what is happening, or has happened, we always get to choose who we are.
We are never defined by what has happened to us. And there is a path forward. To freedom, to acceptance, to love, to connection. In any moment in our life, we get to choose who we are and how we respond. Who we intend to be and become. What we believe about ourselves, and about others. This is the great gift of life – figuring out who we truly are and then loving others from that deep place of knowing.
And the good news is you don’t have to figure it out alone.
Simply put, we are here to love. Ourselves and others. Always.
Do what you believe is right regardless of who is watching.
Nothing is more important than people. Create meaningful connections often.
Be nice to, and do nice things for, others whenever you can. Just because you can.
Hugs are the answer to pretty much anything
Our work is to figure out who we truly are and love others from that deep place of understanding.
Everyone is worthy of love and respect
Everyone has something special and unique to share in the world, and sharing those gifts make all of us better